


So Not Jealous!

by Azeran



Series: So Not-! (Frostiron/Stoki) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, It starts a whole clusterfuck of shit between them all, Loki is a lady, M/M, Steve is a gentleman, Tony is a jealous bastard, When she chooses to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azeran/pseuds/Azeran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Back up. What exactly am I supposed to be apologizing for? All I did was flirt! If that's a crime, then you're just as guilty as I am." Tony pointed at the two of them furiously, waggling his finger in Loki's face. "You've been flirting with him all morning! What? Thought I didn’t notice?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Not Jealous!

**Author's Note:**

> Ever had so much fun pitting characters against one another that you simultaneously giggle hysterically and rage at their stupidity? Yeah. This was that story for me. And it was FUN.
> 
> Disclaimer: Marvel is NOT mine. Nope. It’s not. 
> 
> (Also, I might write more for this. I dunno yet. It's a possibility.)

It was no strange thing for Loki to spontaneously decide that he was going to shift to his female form for the day and prance around like everything was normal. To him and Tony, it was. He didn't really care which version of Loki was around. It was still Loki the ex villain and current sorcerer on speed dial either way you looked at it. Even if he conveniently had the most amazing breasts in the known universe when he was a woman. Tony liked him either way. Loki was Loki, whether he had a cock or a vagina. And he indulged in both freely. What did surprise Tony though was when others did the same. 

Don't get him wrong! He was glad that Loki was settling into their little ragtag group of misfits. That was great. Fantastic even! Clint wasn't actively trying to use him for target practice anymore, and Loki and Bruce were having full fledged conversations now, usually about the differences in mortal and Aesir biology. Fascinating stuff. But Tony had thought that he was the only one Loki trusted enough to share his other forms with. It was something special between them. The neighborhood misfits, bonding over daddy troubles and snarky quips. 

Apparently he was wrong. Because if he wasn't, Loki wouldn't be sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen in his--HER pajamas, long hair rumpled around her face in unruly waves as she heartily dug into a breakfast of pancakes and bacon while Steve, of all people, leaned against the counter and chatted her up. Steve. Steve Rogers, the star spangled man himself, who was smiling and chatting her up like they were fucking best friends or something. 

Tony stared at the two of them from the doorway, well aware he was probably gaping like an idiot. But seriously..what the hell? Was this a parallel universe or something? When did these two get all chummy?! This was fucking weird! Sure, Steve was probably the nicest of their crazy brood, and the one most likely to overlook Loki's past in favor of giving him a second chance. Tony got that. Yet this--really? Forgiveness was one thing. Friendship was something completely different. Especially when it came to Loki and the alluring femininity of his female form.

Let it be noted. He absolutely was not jealous. Tony just had issues with sharing his things, and Loki specifically fell under that category. "Well well, look what we've got here! Cap, I'm so proud. I didn't think you had it in you, but I guess I was wrong! The seventy year old virgin, actually talking to an attractive woman. And without blushing too! It's a miracle." Tony walked into the kitchen with an overly cheerful smile plastered on his face, and promptly stole a piece of bacon off Loki's plate, who looked surprised to see him there. So did Steve, for that matter, though he rolled his eyes at Tony's antics. 

"It's rude to steal food from a lady, Tony. Where are your manners?"

“Sorry Capsicle. Must have left them in the attic with all the other useless junk.” He inched his hand toward Loki, intent on stealing another piece of bacon, only to find Steve’s blocking him and pushing the plate closer to her. “Hey! What gives?” 

“If you want breakfast, say so. I’ll be happy to make you something Tony. But don’t go stealing Loki’s food just because you’re too lazy to ask for anything.” Steve’s scolding morphed into an easy going smile as he picked up a pan and spatula off the stove, offering them out to the brunette at Tony’s side. “More bacon Loki? I could make you some eggs, if you're still hungry."

Hold up. "What's going on here? Why are you catering to him?" Genuinely confused, Tony looked between the two of them and sputtered at the expression on both their faces. Chiding, like he was an idiot asking something particularly dumb. "I've barely seen you guys talk, much less--this!" He flailed his hand, trying to make his point. It didn't work. Loki was sighing in that very condescending way of hers, and Steve seemed like he wanted to give him a good smack upside the head with the spatula. Chafing at the attention, Tony huffed. "What?"

Loki rolled her eyes, accepting a few more pieces of bacon from the pan. Steve was the one who actually answered him. "Loki's been joining me for breakfast almost every day this past week." There was a touch of humor to his voice, alongside his usual kind hearted derision that always came into play where the inventor was concerned. "If you didn't keep such unhealthy hours, you'd know that." 

Tony grimaced. Or maybe not so kindly after all. "Are you ever going to stop harping on that? It's not my fault you think a normal bedtime is before midnight." He took a chance and grabbed some more bacon off Loki's plate when Steve turned his back. It earned him a dirty look from the resident trickster, but he didn't particularly care. This was normal between them. Natural. Unlike whatever the hell else was going on here. Almost feverishly, Tony bit into the bacon, bits of it flung outwards as he talked. "Besides! Who needs a normal sleep cycle anyway? I get so much more work done that way. You guys should really try it."

"I think not. I value what amount of sleep is granted to me far too much to waste it." Maybe he missed something, but Loki and Steve shared a look after that. Weird. Almost as weird as the fact that they were still doing that whole FRIENDLY THING. And Loki was still a woman!! All in all, the entire scenario was making Tony pretty touchy. 

"Funny. I remember you wasting plenty of sleep with me." 

He got one of Steve's patented grandpa scowls for that one. It was easy to sum up. "I know, I know. Tony, don't talk like that at the table! Tony, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Tony, don't be a pervert!" He ticked each one off on his fingers, smirking at the blond. "Did I forget anything?" 

Beside him Loki had returned to her food, muttering something in ye olde Norse under her breath, but one shared frown with Steve later and she was pushing her plate at Tony, a forkful of pancakes shoved into his mouth. "Perhaps that will keep him quiet for a little while." She pulled the fork back, cleaned of the sticky food, then forcefully wrapped his fingers around it. "Eat, Anthony. And for the sake of what little sanity Steven and I have left, cease your mindless prattle, at least for a moment." 

The bite of pancake was heavy and thick on his tongue, muffling him, as well as preventing the retort Tony so wanted to give. Loki had shushed him as if he were some kid! That's it. He'd fallen asleep last night and then woken up in some fucked up parallel world. It was the only idea that made any sense. He could buy into Steve and Loki being polite, maybe even courteous to each other, but this was something entirely different. Them as friends? Steve, a paragon of justice and general goodness, accepting the god of mischief? And his female form to boot? Too unbelievable, even for him. 

Tony stuffed another forkful of pancakes into his mouth, balefully glowering at the two of them. The worst thing out of all this? They were basically conspiring against him! That took teamwork. Companionship. A base understanding of each other's personality and abilities, weaknesses and strengths. Something he was clearly not a part of. And that prickled him something fierce. Tony did NOT like being left out of the loop.

"Ok, I don't buy it. Since when does sharing breakfast make you best friends?" 

"Since Steven and I realized that we not only share a similar taste in breakfast meats, but that we have a common nuisance in our lives." Loki's eyes flitted over to him, narrowed to mere slivers of fern green. That was pretty telling. Dammit. 

"You think I'm a nuisance? That's pretty harsh Lokes. What did I ever do to you? Hell, YOU were the one who threw me out a window, remember? You don’t see me chafing at the bit over it though. Ancient history. Learn to live and let go." Tony pouted at her and snagged her glass of juice, ignoring the responsive complaints and telltale scowl in favor of downing near the entire glass. Then, just to rub it in a bit more, he offered it out to Steve with the most charming grin he could muster, waggling his hand. "More please." 

In true Steve fashion, he didn't look impressed. "Why the sudden interest in my life, Tony? Does it matter if Loki and I are spending time together?" Yes. Not that Tony said that. He simply waited expectantly for an answer, and his juice. He got the latter when Steve pushed a carton across the table towards him, and the former in...ways he really wasn't expecting. Or words, more like. "Maybe this will come as a surprise to you, I don't know, but I actually enjoy Loki's company. She's intelligent, funny, and I like spending time with her."

"Why Steven, you flatter me." Lips the color of a fine Bordeaux hitched up at the corners, displaying a glimmer of teeth. "I wouldn't waste your breath though. Anthony behaves like a child when confronted by something outside his scope of reasoning, and I'm afraid our friendship is just that. It is a pity though." Smiling innocently, Loki turned her gaze Steve's way and fluttered sinfully black lashes, her slender fingers laced beneath her chin, completely casual. "Seeing as my drink has been stolen, as well as my breakfast, I fear I must accept your offer for more. You shall turn me into a glutton yet."

"You're not a glutton, Loki." Steve took a clean glass out of the dishwasher and set it before her, filling it to the brim with apple juice. "In fact, you're too skinny. Didn't anyone in Asgard ever feed you?" 

"Of course, but with Thor's appetite there was scarcely any food left to be had. He is like a dog, chewing on a bone. Any attempts to take from his plate are considered unjust and met with growling and threats of bodily harm." 

Light chuckling passed between them. "Well, not here. I like a girl with some meat on her bones, and you could certainly stand to gain a few pounds. I can almost see your ribs," Steve teased. While Tony gawked at their banter and stared at Loki, craving any sort of explanation, she completely disregarded him in favor of sipping her juice while she watched Steve over the glass rim. That's when it him. They were FLIRTING. This wasn't just your normal everyday chat. This was a tête–à–tête. Loki and Steve were really, truly flirting with one another. 

Maybe he could delude himself into thinking it was just some teasing between friends. Tony doubted it. He seriously doubted it. Five minutes ago? Possibly. Now? Not a chance. This was the point of no return. Hm. And Steve had always struck him more as the do-gooder, Raoul type. Guess not. That made Tony the Phantom though, and he was happy to pick up the suave, darkly charismatic role.

"I don't know Cap. Why change perfection? Loki has this sexy sort of Amazon thing going on. All muscle and long legs." Tony waggled his brow, eyeing the limbs in question. In the thin shorts Loki liked sleeping in, they looked even longer than normal, and were white as cream. Fuckable, like all the rest of him. "There's plenty of women that would kill for stems like those. Sinfully long, silky skinned, strong. What do you do Lokes? Calisthenics? Yoga? I could see you doing yoga. You're flexible enough." 

Loki gave a long sigh. "Anthony, do shut up. My exercise routine is none of your concern. Nosy mortal." There was a drop of exasperated fondness to her words; she was well used to putting up with Tony by now, but that didn't mean she was incapable of losing her patience. He was treading a fine line between humoring her and getting thrown out another window. 

He'd always been a live on the edge kind of guy. "Aw, c'mon Loki. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I'm genuinely curious! How do you keep in such good shape? It can't be an Asgardian thing. I've seen that friend of Thor's. Not exactly prime Adonis material." Tony scooted to the edge of his seat and caught her eye, a sneaky hand brushing her thigh, teasing up the hem of cotton shorts. "Or maybe you prefer something more vigorous," he drawled, watching her lips curl. "I can think of a few activities that would give you a nice workout. What do you say me, you, and those perfect legs of yours head upstairs and--"

"Tony!" Though he'd been busy pulling eggs and cheese from the fridge, Steve clearly had been listening in to their conversation. Fuming, he set everything down on the counter and rounded the bar to confront the startled inventor. "What do you think you're doing? That's no way to talk to a lady! Honestly, do you think she appreciates hearing stuff like that? It's lewd, and unnecessary." 

The hell? Tony took his hand away and smirked, a little disbelieving. Steve hadn't yelled at him like that in a long time. They weren't exactly friends, but there had been some camaraderie going on, a few laughs in between. This was not typical. He couldn't help but notice that Steve had also taken a stance that half shielded Loki from sight, hands on his hips and spine proudly erect. A good intimidation tactic, for anybody who didn't live in the tower full time and knew he wouldn't throw a punch if he could help it. "Alright, captain pacifist, calm your tits. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Didn't you?" Steve's jaw twitched, and he folded his arms over his chest. "I'm not as naive as you'd like to think. I know exactly what you meant, Stark." 

Oh, back to surnames. That wasn't a good sign. But Tony was already puffing up like an adder, ready to strike, so what did it matter. "I suppose congratulations are in order. You're not really a part of this century until you understand sexual innuendos. You can relax though, alright? This is nothing Loki isn't used to. I talk to him like this all the time!" 

"I've noticed. You need to work on your attitude. And your pronouns." Tony blinked, confused, peering around Steve's forearm to see if Loki understood what the hell he was on about. If she did, she wasn't saying. Her mouth was pressed in a razor thin line that twitched every time one of them even so much as breathed. Tony couldn't get a read off her, not even in her eyes. They were normally so expressive, but right now they could've been fogged glass, keeping all her secrets in. He didn't like it. And it made him lash out. 

"My attitude's FINE. You're the one with a problem, Rogers. In case you didn't notice, we're not in the roaring forties anymore! I can talk to Loki however I want. That's between me and him. It's got absolutely nothing to do with you, so cut the prince charming act and back off!" Tony was half off his stool and getting right in Steve's face before he could even think about alternate scenarios, plans, anything. Their height difference made it a little difficult to achieve the desired results, but he damn well wasn't afraid to throw a few punches if he needed to. 

It was looking like it might come to that. Steve was in defensive mode, glaring daggers, and Tony wanted nothing more than to knock him back a few paces. He had it coming. Getting in his face like that, talking to him like he was a little kid, hogging Loki's attentions...wait, what? That made it sound like he was jealous. He wasn't! Tony Stark didn't do jealousy. He didn't need to. He was, well, TONY STARK. What he wanted, he got. If that meant taking it from Steve Rogers's nauseatingly patriotic hands, so be it. "Listen Rogers, you--"

"Stop." Steve held up a hand. "I don't want to hear anything you save to say, except an apology. Loki doesn't deserve to be treated like this. In case you forgot, she's a member of our team now! She gets the same respect all the rest of us do. Even you." He wrinkled his nose, stepping enough to the side to give Tony a clear view of the brunette in question. If Loki was surprised before, now she was downright dumbfounded, though she hid it fairly well behind a placid expression. Figures the trickster would have a master poker face. Tony needed to take her to Vegas. 

"Back up. What exactly am I supposed to be apologizing for? All I did was flirt! If that's a crime, then you're just as guilty as I am." Tony pointed at the two of them furiously, waggling his finger in Loki's face. "You've been flirting with him all morning! What? Thought I didn’t notice?"

He didn't think there was anything that could piss the blond off more, which was a big mistake. "Get your hand out of her face," Steve snapped, grabbing the limb and tossing it aside. "Whether or not we've been flirting isn't the point here. You have no right to get involved in my private life, or hers. It's none of your business. But that's not what you need to apologize for. You've been acting like a misogynistic ass all morning, talking to Loki like you did, putting your hand on her. It's not only rude, Tony. It's disgusting!"

"Steven.." Loki's pale hand touched his arm, gently smoothing up the muscled bicep. She hadn't spoken in quite a while, and Tony wasn't overly fond of the fact that the first word from her lips had to be Steve's name. That was just....wrong. In so many ways. "This really isn't necessary. Anthony meant no harm. He speaks out of turn to disguise his own errant nature, but it matters not. I need no apology from him." 

"Maybe not, but you deserve one."

Fuck it all, Tony HATED the looks they kept sharing, like they were the only damn people in the room. "I think you need a dictionary Rogers. How am I misogynistic?" He glanced at Loki, massaging his wrist. It fucking hurt where Steve had slapped him. "You might've missed the memo, but Loki's a guy. The boobs and hips make it confusing, yeah, but he's still a guy underneath it all. You don't have to treat him like he's some, what did you call it back then? A classy dame? He's not. It's just Loki underneath all that glossy hair and stuff. Nothing special." 

The tension between them all was thick enough to cut with a butter knife right then. Tony could have heard a pin drop, if he had one. His reactor's hum made up for it. Suddenly nervous, he took a step back, carefully assessing the duo before him. Loki's hand had stilled in its caress of Steve's arm, which should've made Tony happy, except the trickster looked furious. At him. Shit. There was raw anger boiling over in her jeweled viridian eyes, and a strange shimmer that was wet, like-- "....Loki?" He hesitated, reaching out to her. She shied away with a guttural noise of pain, teeth bared in a grimace that was both shocked, and terrifying. "Loki? Shit, Loki, talk to me." 

He never got that chance. "What the hell is your problem?" A harsh shove sent Tony stumbling backwards, like a punch to the gut, but way worse. He nearly tripped over his own two feet, catching himself only in time to see Steve pulling Loki tight against his chest, his hand tangling in her mane of raven hair. "Jesus Stark. I never knew how much of an ass you really were until now." 

Tony was frozen dead in his tracks, panting, heart racing, and without a chance to say another word. Steve's next beat him to the punch. "I don't care how jealous you are. You have a problem with me? Fine. Get the suit, we'll go a few rounds. But I don't want to hear you talking to Loki like that, ever again. Got that?" He led Loki out of the kitchen, shooting his head around to give Tony the deadliest glare he'd ever seen. This was the man who'd gone to war, fought Nazis and taken down aliens. It was scary. "In fact, stay the hell away from her all together. If I see you even in the same ROOM as her, I'll throw you out myself. She won't have to lift a damn finger." 

They vanished after that, leaving Tony wide eyed and slowly feeling any feeling in his fingers drain away. He was gripping the bar so tightly that his normally tan knuckles were bleached white. All of him felt tense though, and he could hear his heart pounding frantically beneath the glowing blue reactor embedded in his chest. In all the time he'd known the guy, Tony had never been scared of Steve. Not once. Now though....now, there was a trickle of fear rolling down his spine, icy cold and snaking its tendrils out to writhe all over his body. There was righteous anger too, buried beneath the cold, and the longer he had to control himself the more it clawed its way back to the surface. 

He couldn't comprehend what the fuck had happened. One minute things were fine, he and Loki had their usual shtick going on, and the next she looked like she was ready to openly sob on Steve’s welcoming shoulder while he played her knight in stupid red, white and blue armor. It was bullshit! This didn't work. They couldn't function like this. HE couldn't! It wasn't natural, made no sense at all, leaving Tony completely devoid of the answers he'd been craving. All he had now were questions, and Steve's angry voice echoing in his head. Most of the crap had filtered in one ear and out the other, truth be told. But one thing had stuck. One tiny little thing, out of all the madness. 

"---HEY!" Tony scrambled towards the kitchen door and shouted as loud as he could into the hall. "Get your facts straight Rogers! I am so NOT JEALOUS!"


End file.
